They Said What?!

I love the way a child's brain works... there is this combination of innocence, curiosity, and honesty that can leave us wincing with embarrassment, or unleashing a good healthy belly laugh!

Over the last few months, I started writing down some things my kids have said that made me laugh.  My dear nanny friend, Jenn, has shared a few gems from her days working with her kiddos as well.

I hope this brightens your day - and maybe encourages you to document these moments of hilarity with your own kiddos.  You never know, it might come in handy one day (I'm thinking a wedding speech of some sort?!) ;)  Enjoy!!!

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Ben: [points to my face, just below my nose] Ewwwww!!!
Me: That's called a pimple.
Ben: Can you take it off?
Me: nope.
Ben: ooooh [thinks for a second, points to inner lip] I have a nipple right here. I can't take it off either because it hurts.
Me: [laughing]. That's not a nipple, it's a p-imp-le [trying to say it slower].


Me: I'm pooped!
Ben: You have to poop??
Me: No, when you're pooped it means you are tired.
Ben: Oh, I'm pooped, too. [pause] I'm peed, too.
Me: What?
Ben: When you're peed, it means you are sweaty.
Me: Hmm. Sound logic I guess.


Me: Go outside! It's beautiful!
Ben: But there are bumblebees out there!
Me: They won't bother you, they are just looking for flowers
Ben: But I smell like flowers!


Me: Ben, what do you want for dinner?
Ben: [in all seriousness] Strawberries, candy, and bubble gum.


Me: Let's go to the library today!
Ben: Yea! And I'll ask the library human if they have the Lego Movie.
Me: You mean the librarian?....


Ben: I like to wrestle Max
Me: I know, but not too rough, ok?
Ben: Why? I can beat him. I'm stronger than him. Pretty powerful. Like a bear. Or a honey badger.
Me: I think you watch too much Wild Kratts...


Ben & Gigi: Can we watch a movie before bed?
Me: You can watch the TinkerBell one.
Gigi: What about the Barbie fairy one?
Me: No, that one is too long. It's already 7:45pm
Ben: But it's only 12 feet long!
Me: .....


Me: [sipping my morning coffee] Mmmmmm.
Ben: I want some coffee!
Me: You want coffee?
Ben: I don't want to drink it, I just want to taste it.
Me: ???


Me: [to Trevor] Oh, now you are going to throw things you copy cat?
Gianna: That's not a copy cat, that's Baby T!


Ben: [looking in the mirror] Mom, am I going to turn black?
Me: What? Why do you ask that?
Ben: Because look [points to dark circles under his eyes]


Me: Come on you guys, you have to eat different foods because your body needs different vitamins to grow.
Gianna: I got vitamins in my butt, see? My butt is growing!


Gianna: [looking intently at my face] Is your forehead broken?  It looks like a road.
Me: Those are called wrinkles


Ben: Feel my beard mom! I have some spikes coming out [rubbing chin]
Me: Oh yea? [rubs his chin] I don't know about a beard, but I see little mustache hairs!
Gianna: I have a mustache on my arms, see!? [shows hair on her arms]


Gianna: I am going to make a school.
Me: Cool. What are you going to teach at your school?
Gianna: [as a matter-of-factly] ABCs and God.


Me: Ben, do you know what Christmas is?
Ben: Yea! Holly jolly!


BIL: Let's play the rhyme game
Niece: ok!
BIL: Bird...
Niece: Turd!!
BIL: [laughing] do you know what a turd is?
Niece: Yea, it's a baby turtle!
                                -Audrey, age 3


Niece: Sometimes my dad picks me up and puts me on his nipples.
Me: You mean shoulders?
Niece: Oh, yea.
                               -Olivia, age 4


Charlie: I have a lot of seeds in my nose.
Claire: Charlie, those are boogers...
                               -Charlie, age 4
                               -Claire, age 10

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And a few good one-liners for you...

I feel like I can drive because I can tie a knot. -Charlie, age 4

[to Jenn, who lost her voice] I hope next Christmas when Santa comes, he brings you a new voice. 
- Charlie, age 4

I am going to drive daddy's boat in the ocean with my ho-ho jammies on. -Ben, age 2.5

[shouts from the toilet:] Mom! I don't have ouchie poops anymore! Just nice poops! -Gianna, age 3

Mom, when is my pinky going to grow up? -Ben, age 4

Dad, why do you have a beard in your nose? -Ethan, age 4

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Please feel free to comment with your own additions to "They Said What?!" :)